| Back to School! ^^ |
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| 12:43pm 01/10/2009 |
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mood:  cheerful
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I'm going to go back to school on the 10th of November to start working for a certificate for basically just office work. I need to do keyboarding, word I, excel I, and some others just geared towards technology and not fucking up in an office type place. Not very exciting but pretty useful skills, I'll be certified, and I can earn $12 an hour instead of just $7.25. I can later use the knowledge and experience to do other things later in life and I can use money from it to send myself back to school if I want. At the moment $99-$150 per class (plus books) is kinda stretching it for me. |
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| Nick Got Laid Off... |
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| 03:26pm 30/09/2009 |
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mood:  blah
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Yeah... I was told on Friday and was so busy at work I didn't really have time to think about it. Saturday... I guess I was pretty preoccupied because I literally forgot to go to work. When I realized what I'd done on Sunday morning I was so furious I sort of broke a cup during a little tantrum, then spent the rest of the day worrying that they had fired me. When I finished explaining and begging for forgiveness on Monday Fabio decided that I needed more hours.
Mum's out right now trying to get a job. I've been looking at better jobs. I need some education though. Even just some English and computer classes would be enough. But I can't afford them and I can't spend the time on them. $12 and hour sitting in a chair sounds nice but I can't afford to take the classes. Maybe in January I'll do one of those classes instead of the 3D animation, but I don't know if I'll have saved enough. I thought I'd be able to do it, but I didn't think about the price of books.
On the bright side, we will still be getting $500 a month from Kerry for Peter. On the not so right side, Kerry's mum says it looks lie he's next.
Fuck. |
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| This is why I want to have my own source of eggs. |
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| 09:42pm 21/09/2009 |
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Chickens can lived from 8 to 10 years, possibly longer.
This is what happens after maybe two years.
This is what happens when the workers are too lazy to clean up... Right next to our food, nice!
Next to our food again. How hygienic!
Honestly I don't want to look at any more of these pictures, there's a hell of a lot more. I didn't realize how bad some of this was honestly. The practices they us, what they get away with. Free Range legally just means two square feet per chicken and it can be inside a building with no natural light, and still being ed antibiotic filled crap. I stopped eating beef a while ago because of the hormones they pump into the cows. As soon as my girls start laying I'm going to stop eating battery eggs for good. |
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| Chick chick chick chick chicken! Lay a little Egg for me! |
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| 02:20pm 17/09/2009 |
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Awesome song from my childhood... or WWII at least. So I got some chicks today. Been looking for Easter Eggers, Americaunas, or Araucanas for ages. They are so fucking expensive! Pretty hard to find, so I fixed up an old incubator. Then discovered how expensive the thermometer and hygrometer were going to be. So after about two months of trying to find these damn birds. I discovered on Monday that the local feed store was going to get a shipment of the little buggers today. So today I got two Americanas (misspelled so they are probably Easter Eggers really) A Barred Plymouth Rock, and a quail... that may or may not be female. If it's a boy I'll have to sell it.
They are probably less that a week old, fuzzy, cute, and just ridiculously cute. Saffron and Amber came in to see them through the bars of a $10 cage I got a while back. I'm going to see if I can get Nick to help me build a triangular coop/run out of wood from mum's failed fabric business. Should be pretty cheep. The design can hold up to 6 birds, and if I get a second bantam that would be 7.
http://www.mypetchicken.com/catalog/Chicken-Coop-Plans/ConvertiCoop-Building-Plans-p506.aspx
The Easter Eggers lay blue, green, and pink eggs.
Bantams are really small, eggs are perfect for making Scotch Eggs.
Plymouth Rocks lay a decent number of eggs, but also go broody and make excellent mothers which means if I find some eggs I want I can use her as a surrogate more reliably than the others. |
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| How to avoid a co-worker? |
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| 09:36am 10/09/2009 |
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I think I need advice. There's a guy at work, who I am in great danger of beating the crap out of. Any conversation I go over in my head with my boss just sounds whiny or accusational. Neither of which is good since my boss like this guy and I've only been at work a month and a half, which is less than this guy I don't want to injure. It started out with him just sort of asking me a lot of personal and kinda hurtful questions. He also, very definitely does not work as hard as the rest of us. I thought maybe I was just seeing that and maybe making it up in my mind, till some customers complained that it seamed unfair that I had to spend an entire night busing tables, and cleaning dishes on my own, while it was really obvious to them that he was going out of his way to talk to people at each table when he had nothing to do... To the point that the people were trying to get him to leave them alone and he wasn't getting their hints, and everyone just didn't want to be rude enough to tell him to fuck off.
I just spent that night wanting to claim I was ill and ask to go home early since he obviously had nothing to do, but I ended up staying, I was a little resentful but not angry.
About a week ago I was told I wasn't working the register, just in the back, I had like 20 things to do back there. At one point late in the evening the some people came in and no one went to serve them. As I was serving them the phone rang, this pain in the ass Alex got the phone, wrote down a few parts of the order (because he's so fucking lazy) and then explained the stuff he'd not written down, as I was trying to punch in an order already. I honestly meant to get it in the computer as well, but I got called to help out with something else and I forgot. About 30 minutes later we had a pretty angry customer with no order. OK, it was my fault, and I did apologize and help with fixing it.
This is was made me want to punch his face in.
A few nights ago, I was on the till, and dealing with a customer. The phone rang, and since Alex was standing right next to me not doing ANYTHING, I asked him politely if he'd mind getting the order for me. Right in front of our customer he said, "Why should I bother? It's not like you're going to remember to put it in anyway." I was actually so shocked I couldn't even speak for a moment, I was just stunned. Right in front of a customer and yes, that customer did hear. She looked almost as shocked as I felt. He did pick up the phone but he claims no one ordered and I didn't get screamed at so I guess they didn't, but still. I'm just so fed up with him treating me like I'm a piece of shit, and I really don't want to put up with that in front of customers, it's so distasteful and unprofessional.
I'm just worried that if I do loose my temper and smash his nose in the cameras will catch that and not all the shit he gives me. |
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| Benefits for Commuting Cyclists |
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| 08:23am 02/09/2009 |
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mood: excited
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So I just happened to start riding to work probably some time last week. I also just happened to find out that commuting cyclists can apply for benefits at work. I'm pretty sure I fit the profile to apply. There's lots of different info depending on which site you look at, and honestly the legal documents might as well be in Spanish for the amount of use they are in working this out. I ride to work more than three times a week, I will be riding 10+ times a month, I ride to work 60% more than I get there by car at least, I am also an employee, not an independent contractor, I'm planning to do my own taxes this year. Again, not entirely sure how this works because everyone is giving different details and requirements. Basically though it looks like I just have to notify my boss I'm interested in the program (it's law as of Jan/1/2009), log my own rides/miles per week, and turn in any receipts for new bike attachments or things to fix it up with. My wheel went out on my way home the other day and I spent $4.64 for a new tube. I think I'm allowed up to $20 a month or $240 a year for a new bike, bike repairs, helmets, reflective clothing, bike related bags, etc. A different course said something about 48.5 cents per mile though so if it's that this month I'd be eligible for about $10 something. I've told Chris to tell his sister since she lives in Down Town and she bikes to work and school. She puts on more miles than me and she's certainly going to need this more than me.
Just so no one thinks this is too selfish I believe this will actually work out to more of a benefit an employer than employees. I get money back for repairs, they get tax discounts and stuff. |
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| Wedding plans unplanned |
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| 08:07pm 24/08/2009 |
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mood:  annoyed
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Soooo... I was planning a wedding. It was going to be a 80 person thing on a $1,000 budget (because I'm poor even though I'm working) and it was going to be around September of next year.... I have to admit I got rather stressed and had a few mild panic attacks (related to other things also). Various family members were pretty unhappy even this far in advance. I also got some pretty awful news about a family member back home. So I kinda decided, with Chris that we should elope... So now my mum's gone into this horrible "Oh no one loves me! You just don't want us there! Oh woe is me!" moods. It's so fun, attempting to get married, there's such an array of ways to piss people off and alienate them without even trying. No imagination involved at all!
Jesus. Eloping was supposed to be the easy choice. Now I'm even more of an as hole apparently. Is it really that bad of me to want Chris and my really big day together to actually be for us? For us to be comfortable with each other without having to worry about what everyone else thinks... Maybe as a protest I should let my mum come along because she's whined enough about it and Chris and I should do the marriage while sitting naked in a bathtub.
Maybe that's just childish but I'm getting pretty fed up with this crap. |
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| Hair and Houses |
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| 03:45pm 04/02/2009 |
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mood: optimistic
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So anyway, since I last posted anything, I got into school. Hairdressing school but still a school and apparently I'm decently talented and pick things up with one try where other people take two solid weeks of grueling practice to work things out... It makes me feel pretty damn good about myself... but I also have to keep it on the down low in class so as not to piss too many people off. Hopefully I'll be able to get a job when I've graduated. Aaaaany way. My van died and Mrs Sides let me borrow hers so I could still get to school and then the land lord said we had to give him an extra $250 a month to park an extra car, or he'd tow it... So I kinda, more or less told him to fuck himself, and some other nasty things went down. So on and so forth... Anyway looks like we may be moving up to Chris's old house. Various things will be hell of a lot more easy now.
I'm going to have to dig up my veggie patch and find places to stick them in the sides yard so they don't die. This could be kinda awkward. >> |
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| Cueva Del Guácharo |
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| 06:31pm 04/05/2008 |
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Venezuela's flat lands are surprisingly dry and boring in places, almost deserty at times depending on where you are. The people are very friendly and the food, though very strange is tasty. On this particular trip we drove through that area and up hill into the more forresty areas. As the trees grew denser we started to see banana farms nestled near the roads, and small homes with chickens scratching the ground around them. The roads twisted and turned with nothing but trees on either side for ages and soon after we all decided that we were quite hungry a turn in the road brought us to a little old lady sitting by the road selling something that looked like an empanada. It was one of the nicest and defiantly the most exotic breakfast I've ever had and to this day I don't think I'll ever find out how to get or make it again. We carried on and discovered a small town with brightly coloured houses in two straight lines facing each other over a thin dusty road. The children playing in the street wore almost festive looking clothing which showed bright colours though the dust. We carried on till we found a restaurant that sat on the edge of a cliff, maybe even a little over it, they had some toucans nearby and an inviting grassy lawn that was so green it reminded me of home in England. I don't remember what I ate but I do remember that it was interrupted by a huge commotion at the other end of the restaurant. There was a shriek and a chair fell to the floor and people ran around and shouted, then people laughed and clapped. People started to sit down and as the crowd began to sit back down at their tables we saw for ourselves that someone had decided that it would be nice to feed to toucans. The toucans had then decided that this man did not, in fact, actually need his pie, came into the restaurant (which like many in the country had no walls around the eating area), and took it. Of course no one with any sense will fight a bird with a bill that big for any pie, no matter how good it was. After lunch I played with some other children on the grass and was ushered back into the car to the National Park of Cueva Del Guacharo.
I don't think I actually knew what we were there for because apart from some very pretty butterflies I found the place just hot and boring at first and wanted to go home. I think I thought we'd just gone out to drive for the day maybe. After a little while of standing around at the visitors center though we were instructed, along with some other people to follow a guide up a path through some tropical bushes and trees. The rain forest here wasn't like it had been by angel falls, it was shorter and less impressive I think. We soon came upon a huge cave that stood out like the mouth of some giant monster and all around the foliage was so thick that you couldn't see any mountain or cliff. It was like the cave just appeared from nowhere. The ground was flat and a sandy yellow, the cave was just a huge void of black. Occasionally the black flutter of wings could almost, but not quite be seen and the noises of creatures within. We waited a while for everyone to get ready, and my sister was strapped into a backpack-like contraption on my mum's back. She was maybe a year old at the time and though she was used to sitting in it it was obvious that no one at the cave that day had ever seen anything like it before.
The tour started and we were told a little about the history of the cave, it was about 10 km long or 6 miles, hot high it was at the tallest parts and that in some places the roof was so low no humans could explore it yet. It was made of lime stone and was home to bats, frogs, fish, cockroaches, and many other things. We saw bats first. I'd been in many caves before and was quite used to them and just enjoyed their presence. We didn't walk very far before all light from outside was completely gone. The bath was only wide enough for two people in most places but in some maybe three people abreast, the cave was very wide though, the narrowest parts were wider than a lorry is long. After a while we thought we noticed something flying around that wasn't bats. Something what was a bit bigger and to our surprise yelled "guacharo!" in a croaky voice. It was the strangest thing you can imagine. The tour guide would stop every now and then to tell us about some of the odd shapes in the cave, but every now and then he'd stop and tell us about the things that lived there. He told us about the bats and how they lived in colonies on the ceiling which is normal in many caves, there were also cave snakes up there and guacharos which he said were very rare and nested only in a few caves. The had the most guacharos anywhere in the world. He shone his light up and we saw them. Little birds, with their nests fluttering around like bats. The guide told us how important the bats and birds where to the other creatures in the cave. Their droppings, feathers, egg shells and anything that died up there fell to the floor of the cave and became guano which provided food and compost for the cave. The man shone his light on the ground by the bath and there were big gasps from the crowd ad everyone for the first time got a look at the floor, which as moving! There were so many cockroaches and other creepy crawlies eating and living in the guano that the floor was a shiny black sea of movement as things crawled over each other in search of food. A little stream of surprisingly clear water ran through the bottom of the cave, it had special craps, shrimp, fish, frogs and other creatures that only lived in caves, because they were blind from living in the dark for so long and white because in suck a dark place they didn't need to have colour to camouflage themselves. Many even had bright pink or grayish-white eyes or just no eyes at all. The creatures in the water ate the guano that fell in the stream and each other.
We walked on and after a while it came to our attention that my sister was trying to give people heart attacks. She could hear "guacharo" being repeated over and over and is appeared had come to the conclusion that it was being said by the people around us. So, not wanting to be left out of the fun, she started to pop out from behind my mum's head at people and yell "guacharo!" which, since everyone was so impressed with the cave that they had forgotten about her, terrified some people almost to death. I have to admit that since she could hardly say anything at the time I was very much impressed with her impersonation of the birds.
It had been quite hot outside the cave, and very clammy, but I was surprised to find that while it sliwly got slightly cooler as we went deeper, the air was still just as damp. We had to try hard not to think about the cockroaches. I've heard that some places in England have them, though I've never seen them myself. In America they get quite big, the big ones are about as long as your mum's hand is wide. The ones in Venezuela the big ones are the length of your mum's hand longways. They can fly, their bit hurts when they decide to bite, they move very quickly and even though I'm now brave enough to kill the American ones on my own with a spray bottle and standing as far away as possible, I was defiantly not ready to deal with one in this cave. Fortunately none of them came onto the path, or at least not that I ever saw.
Eventually we had to stop, our guide explained that we were two miles into the cave and altough the cave went much deeper the path ended here. His light shone into the distance but the darkness just ate it up and all it really showed was the cave walls that were close to us. He said that the scientists had explored a few miles deeper but even there weren't sure just how much of it there was. It was dangerous in some places, and the scientists who worked there were also afraid that humans in the cave would damage the ecosystem within. Even a small team of scientists might upset the creatures there but large tours and a path built too deep would take out too much space for the native creatures. They'd decided that for both financial and ethical reasons it was best that the cave stop at two miles. That way people could visit and appreciate the cave, and get an idea just how amazing the cave was while only seeing a small section of it.
I was a little worried that the trip back out of the cave would be boring but as it turned out the cave had so much to see that the guide had only shown us about half on the way in and had saved the rest for the walk out. Most of it was the names of the formations of stalagmites and stalactites, but there were little bits of history about when things were discovered and by who and sometimes how. There was an opening way up high in the cave what wasn't found for ages and when the scientists got climbing gear and investigated it it turned out that it was a small tunnel that led to another huge cavern just like the one were were in but there was no way to safely get normal visitors there without horribly damaging the cave. |
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| Another Move on the Horizon? |
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| 03:56pm 15/04/2008 |
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Sooo. Apparently he guy who owns the place where mum's shop is might be going out of business but regardless mum's kinda fed up with the whole business thing even though it is going quite a lot better now. Ku's family lives in a mansion but still clings on to the old house which his dad uses as a refuge from his wife but Mrs Sides is all crazy and controling which means that she's desperatly trying to get just about anyone to move in (my theory is to keep her husband at home rather than to make money). Mum used to teach at the college on the north side of town and phoned to see if she could get her old job back. She just got the answering machine but she probably will, apparently they were pretty sad to see her go. She's also thinking about doing teaching illiterate adults and or teaching english to non-native speakers. Mrs Sides doesn't seam to mind it idea of us renting the house from her and I think I'm much more likely to get a job up there than down here. At least I'll have friends, know the area and maybe even start on my education finaly. I've been spending all my time recently at the house and only come to work and use the internet maybe once a week at the VERY most. If we do custom work from home then we will definatly have internet at the Sides house. I'm hoping that a certain Jillian might be around for the summer, and that maybe we'll be moving early in the summer. I'm a bit worried about the healths of various people. I'm going to try to get my family to start eating a little differently. I've already convinced them to do Yoga with me occasionaly, and (I probably shouldn't admit to this) to help me time Elly's time outs I explain to her why she's in trouble then to 40 crunches.... and it helps me get a lot of excercise some days. I'm hoping that life will maybe start getting a little easier, if not more convinient at least. |
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| Walking the cat |
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| 09:13am 03/04/2008 |
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Jillian couldn't hang out with me the Friday before she was due to leave, turns out that was fantastic because that night Elly woke me up by vomiting horrificaly in her sleap about 3am and the next day was the first of about a week or being incapable of leaving the house due to my own illness. Elly and I were called back home a few days before full recovery to help at home, so basicaly everyone at home also got sick... at leawst once.
After I recovered but while having to take care of the ailing people in the house (one by one for the most part) I spent whatever free time I had in the garden where I've planted a bucn of things, including a petunia and four pansies that I found abandoned around the trailer park. The petunia actualy came from a lot where the house was taken away, the pansies came from a trailer that was vaated about a month ago. My dead tree came back to life... or at least it's growing a new tree from the bottom of the old one, I'll probably have to cut top off the original part to make room, and I've got three new shrubs. Purple, red and orange flowers. The one with purple flower should get about 3X3 ft, and the other two are the same species and should get maybe 6X6 ft. I uncovered a brick path that took two days to completely uncover and is still horrificaly muddy but a good storm or two should help. It doesn't go all the way to our steps so I moved some stuff around, elongated the path a bit and am working on a small patio at the bottom of our steps. It's functional at least. The fire ants are getting horrible, I almost can't do anything out there, I actualy got bitten yesterday. My foot was actualy covered with ants, but amazingly I escaped with only five bites and by using medication and ice instantly I've actualy stopped it from getting too bad. I dont think I'll be getting tracers this time at least.
Pepper went missing a few days ago, and after the third day we just assumed we wouldn't see her again. Then the night before last I took the dog out for our nightly walk, and I could hear a cat crying a bit ahead of us. It didn't even occur to me that it was Pepper because she's so quiet and keeps to herself, so assuming it was an unknown kitten I started to make plans to take the dog back after disposing out the rubbish and come back to look under the trucks for any lost kittens. Then suddenly there was a lot of scratching and thudding and a dark fuzzy shape came flying off the foor of a trailer at us. After that Pepper's been almost inseperable from Saffy. She and Saffy spend more time together than ever before and Pepper's a lot more friendly now, to myself and mum at least and she's so fixed on spending time with Saffy that she actualy goes for walks with us. I mean, she honestly follows us all over the place, sometimes walking shoulder to shoulder with the dog. |
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| This is a bit like the forrest for the trees thing >> |
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| 12:49pm 18/03/2008 |
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Chris keeps a sort of diary thing. Just to alleviate boredom, nothing I wants to keep hidden from me I guess. He told me I could read it some time, just in case there was anything he hadn't remembered to tell me or whatever. I was kinda curious what his non-story telling style would be like. It's a lot like how he talks really. Most of it I already know, or kinda understood but was pleasantly surprised to read, considering they were just passing thoughts, rather than actually meant specifically for my eyes. However I now feel really stupid. I've been kinda short sited. I mean, I knew Chris had problems, I mean, he's really good and does mention them, he hardly ever keeps anything specifically from me, but somehow I didn't really come home for me till just now as I was reading. I tried to be helpful before but I've always known it was rather futile on my behalf. Now I think I know what I need to do... maybe more than just one thing, though some changes might take a little bit of time. I really love Ku, I cause him a lot of concern and worry and I don't like that, I would rather give him support than make things worse by having him worry about me as well as his problems. I think both of us have to start thinking a little differently but I know I can't really do anything for his side of it other than make suggestions and gently persuade, I however, can put more effort into making changes. Who knows, maybe I'll even succeed.
Jillian, you really do need to contact me back. I know you're not feeling too good so I'm not going to feel hurt if you don't want to hang out, but I would like to know what's going on. |
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| It's my mum's fault I'm this way. |
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| 11:28am 10/03/2008 |
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mood: impressed
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Quite a bit of this is very accurate. Some are more accurate if you change the meaning; like I don't get excited as in jumping for joy or anything, very rarely at least, but I can become immensly dissapointed when things don't work out and I can get pretty excited negitively if I get upset enough. Though I don't have too many tantrums any more. I think I'm a bit more relaxed and less intense than the test shows because I'm a pices. Gotta love your birth sign ^^
What Harriet Means
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You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.
You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.
You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.
You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.
You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.
You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.
You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.
You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.
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| Angel Falls |
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| 11:29am 01/03/2008 |
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I don't remember much of the trip to Angel Falls, apart from airports, but what I do remember is that we ended up on a small rickety plane. It was pretty small on the outside, less than half the size of any I'd been in before and it had an old-fashioned bubbly shape to it which made me think that maybe it was used during a war some time. On the inside it was big an open, you could almost imagine you were in a big flying egg but with windows for tons of light to shine through. It rattled as we flew, and it was hot, just like outside all over Venezuela. As we gained altitude it got a little cooler but but much as the sun beat down on the little plane. After a while there were late table topped mountains either side of the plane. It was as if through the light mist bellow out plane some giants had brought big tables with great big tablecloths of jungle, all just waiting and begging to be explored. Great cliffs clung to their edges and trees and vines nestled themselves around these. Even the giant parrots fluttering around over the forest bellow now were too small to detect. The plane dropped bellow the level of the mesas and we drifted between them like a lost moth for a while, till we came around a corner and there we saw what we had come to find. A plume of feathery white delicately graced the top of the mesas above us. It dropped gracefully past us to a small outcrop where it disappeared. Then it came forth again, and continued to another, where it crashed against another, until finally it was lost in it's own spray to some distant place bellow. Far at the bottom in the deep wild jungle. You couldn't hear it, but even over the loud humming and ricketing of our plane you could imagine the deafening thunder of the water as it pounded against the jungle floor beneath the trees.
We finally landed in a large open place in the middle of the rain forest. The only open place that I had seen here at all. There were big huts here, with Indians. Some had no shirts on, and some had big, American style t-shirts with American logos on them. The ate fried yucca, palmito, rice and some other things I didn't recognize with them an soon they took the people from our plane along a path into the woods. It was hot, and humid, and the shade was cracked by beams of sun that sliced through the leaves and turned the leaves on the ground around us gold amongst dull browns and dusty grays. In the shadows I could see the flutter of red and green feathers but they were gone before I could see what they belonged to.
Soon we were out in the open again. Before us was a huge, wide, unbelievable lake. The size itself wasn't that amazing, so much as the colour of the lake. It was red. Not blood red, for it had yellow in it, almost gold. Tiny canoes sat like pencils against its shores waiting for us. The sun turned to world into a big golden oven as to trudged to the pencils. We had to help push the canoes into the water and then carefully jump in before we got too wet but without tipping them over. It was very tricky but we managed. The Indians warned us that whatever we did we must not touch the water because piranhas lived in the water, so of course everyone swayed their hands in the water and wet their hankies to wipe their faces with, except me, I didn't want to ruin my trip by loosing a finger. I remembered an incident with a fence, and no one had warned me about that! Even without touching the water though it made the world a little cooler, and then we saw a large waterfall. Not angle falls by any stretch but as a baby waterfall of the jungle this was a little taller than a house, and wider than tow train sections. The Indians explained that the reason the water was red was because of all the minerals that the waterfalls churned out of the ground.
It took us a while but we reached the shore on the other side and found that our trail led uphill. It was dusty and dry and the scorched the dust that slid into my sandals as I crunched up the path over dried roots and yellow tufts of grass. At the top of the hill the path rook a sharp turn to the left and we were eaten up by the jungle. Here though, it wasn't as dark and gray as before. Here the place shone with a sort green light down long tree trunks a impressive as columns in a great cathedral. The ground was dotted with small bright green plants along side out path. "Don't touch the trees," on of our guides said, and stopped suddenly. He turned around, and since he happened to be right in front of me I was the first to see what he had in fact caught in his own hands. "You might accidentally touch one of these," he held a tiny tree frog, no bigger than a penny curled up happily in his palm, as he addressed out group. "And if it's any bigger than this it will kill you. Especially you!" he said look down at me. "It doesn't hurt me because I'm a man," he said, then very carefully to let the little frog go back into it hiding place on the tree from which he had come.
The path wound lazily up hill over roots of ALL different sizes, around ragged boulders and at one point past a cliff that disappeared into a green leafy void. The only things that didn't change were the trees, thick, thin, brown, silver, and just about every one had a vine growing up it. Like big, fat lazy snakes that clung around their trees. Far into the canopies above I saw tiny, furry hands and tails that accompanies little cackles, which only added to all the commotion of the trees surrounding us. Our lazy path led our tired party onto a wide ledge. On one side was the side of a mesa, and the other was the great rain forest sprawled out into the distance. But the most fascinating thing was the white wall over water in front of us. Our path went right through it, or so we thought. It was not like a shower. It was not like water. It was like rocks were being pushed down on us as we walked along the length of the waterfall. The mountain side had been worn away by the water to make a thin path bellow us and low ceiling of slippery bumps. Slippery bumps on one side a solid, white, moving wall on the other. As you walked along the pressure of the water on your head and shoulders changed. You forgot what not having it on you felt like and when it was lightest I could almost pretend it was just raining, and when it was heaviest I could almost imagine that I as helping to hold up the mountain above me. When we finally got out I was almost afraid I'd float away into the huge blue sky. I'd never felt so light before.
Nick had made a friend under the waterfall, a tall skinny man who was dressed all in black. That's all I really noticed about him, there was nothing particularly interesting about him other than that he was in our group and Nick had found something to talk with him about. I said Hi and was polite but wouldn't think about him till many months later in a very different place.
We climbed a short way and found ourselves on top of a small mesa. There were large flat rocks of rich red splattered around the edge and rushing between was shallow water which gave a hazy salute of spray as it jumped off the edge. The water here was almost clear, but still had a red tint too it, there was none of the golden glow, from the valley. There was vast wilderness all around us, large cats, monkeys, flowers, frogs, ancient ruins, giant bugs. And we just sat down and let our legs rest before it was time to go home, because that's all that any one felt like doing. Even though it wasn't the top of the earth, it felt like it. |
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| Maybe this time I've found my calling? |
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| 11:49am 27/02/2008 |
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I like nature, I want to help the world, both sides of my family have avid gardeners (Grandma and Grandpa have an anazing garden plus an alotment that provides them with enough food to not only eat but also sell for extra cash, Grandad runs the veggie garden at the Wakes Museum, and his brother is the head rose gardener for the queen herself). There's a growing market for green and eco-friendly things, and well there's other factors in this but it'll get boring. The thing is that I think I can become an eco-friendly garden/landscape consultant or omething of the sort. Nursery specialist for the green-minded, I could work for a big company or, more likely for me go solo. I've already begun to study with just the internet and I've already learned some pretty amazing things over the past few days. I need to go to college for chemistry and some other unpleasant things like that. To be honest though, while mum and Nick are being amazingly supportive (Nick's actualy way more optimistic than usual about this idea of mine) I'm pretty sure my friends are going to be kinda in the not really caring area, which is fine, but I really doubt Ku will understand. I don't know why, it's just the way he is. I think he'd rather me do something he can see benefitting him, like the cullinary idea, but with hardly any sence of smell I could never go far with that. I've got a horrible fealing that even if I was succesful with the gardening thing he'd never really take it seriously. Maybe oneday, when I can actualy get things to stay alive and grow I can make a nice place for the two of us and he'll like it. I think I'll just not really mention too much of this to him so he can't be too dissapoimted with me.
Maybe trying to help save and preserve the world is futile, maybe it is too late, but what's wrong with hoping and trying to do something about it? What's wrong with making a living out of doing something I feal is important and helping to educate others? |
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| American Woodcocks? |
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| 02:30pm 20/02/2008 |
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I walk Saffy each night (that I'm at home) and in recent months we've seen though mostly heard some strange birds. Saffy gets pretty wound up about them. They make a high pitch noise and swoop into the air when disturbed but mostle hide in the grass and run accross and around in the road very quickly. I think I've worked out what they are: http://www.houstonaudubon.org/index.cfm/act/newsletter.cfm/newsletterid/204/category/Bird%20Gallery/MenuGroup/Home.htm
I've found some old wood in our area, just sorta abandoned. I've also found that there's loads of web site with plans to build bird houses. I'm going to see what in an area like ours might want a home, and see what sort of designs they'd need. Turns out birds can be really picky about where they nest. I don't really want to spend $30 or more on something I can make myself and that might not be used for a for a few years. Thinking I'll ask Nick or Mr Sides for help conserning tools. |
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| Dreaming of Death |
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| 10:31am 20/02/2008 |
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I dreamed that I was in a horrible car crash. I dreamed that I was a waitress and another disgruntled employee came in with a gun but woke up just before he went on rampage. University students keep getting gunned down. To be honest I really do envy them. But I'll probably never go to college, university or have any other opportunity of getting murdered. I don't come in contact with enough people. Three years, one month, and 8 days till I'm allowed to leave home. And what then? Will I actualy be able to? Me who apparently can't have a job, can't get any money, can't get an education. Will Ku actualy have the self control to save up enough to even consider getting a home for us? Even if he can will he honestly still want anything to do with me? Even my own mother told me I was a shit parent. So much for being supportive. Honestly, if I did try killing myself I'd just fuck it up and have to live with the knowledge that not only do I know I'm a selfish bitch and completely pathetic but my entire family will think it too... more than they already do at least.
I litteraly witnessed Charly spank Elly this morning for sitting down against the table that supports the TV. Not even touching the TV or playing with anything. Elly was just sitting there, not doing anything at all. And Charly just went up to her and spanked her. When I told Charly how infair that was and how I never wanted to see her lay a hand on Elly again (no that she's ever been allowed to punish Elly) it somehow turned into how I'm an unfit parent. I mean, I honestly know I am, I try my best but I can't do anything write, but unless someone can actualy tell me how to do it write I really don't want to actualy be told. And are there any sudjestions comming from them? No. Elly just walked around for 20 minutes randomly smaking herself where Charly had hit her which a completely bewildered look on her face saying "Bad baby".
I just want to throw up whenever I think about how much I hate my family and my life. My teath hurt though, and the health insurance company wont let me on because of something to do with how we want to pay, so I can't do anything about the bleeding or the pain. I thought I always did a good job of cleaning my teeth when I was bulimic before. Now I'm not even going to risk it. If I can't even get them looked at. When they fall out I'm completely fucked. See how much Chris is interested in me then. I'm so fucking lame. |
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| Elly the drummer |
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| 05:54pm 10/02/2008 |
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So I watched Elly playing the drums. Very enthusiastically pausing only momentarily to flip over one of her drums and take an imaginary sip from what she perceives momentarily to also be a cup. I mull over the idea that if she really wanted to be a drummer and made sure to practice often I'd probably get her a drum kit to follow her interests. And I suddenly think. You fucking hypocrite.
I'm going to get my ass in gear and see if I can still do that art class that mum already paid off ages ago. I'm tired of thinking of myself as a lazy piece of crap who does absolutely fucking nothing for our future. Should see if I can at least do that while I've got no money. At least get in under my belt. |
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| AAAAAAARRRRTTT! |
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| 05:23pm 10/02/2008 |
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So. Chris bought me less tan $8 worth of art supplies yesterday and last night I went crazy. Yeah. I'm pretty fucking happy. I mean, it didn't look pretty he just let me do whatever and I ended up naked (so my clothes wouldn't get ruined) on is bedroom floor with my art supplies absolutely in my element last night (under the influence of metric and some other amazing bands). A few interesting results came out. I have a few stories of how certain things I drew came to be, but regardless of what any of the results actually look like I can say for a 100% certainty that I am pretty damn happy with myself and feel amazingly awesome in myself.... I might find a camera some time and sow off my crappy art. ^_^ |
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| Rearanging Friends |
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| 02:28pm 08/02/2008 |
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So... I while back I put Jillian, Cameron and Ku in the family section of that thing on hotmail, Todd and Silv in Coworkers since I knew them but not well enough to call friends, and some middle people in Friends. Just noticed how messed up my categorizing of people was just now. Todd's in my family list now and I descided not to delet Cameron just iun case of some sort of emergency, there's a few others I descided not to delete, just in case, they are now in coworkers. Not friends but not deleted either just in sace some how, some day there's some huge catastrophe and I actualy want or need to talk to those people again. Take that Joy! Now you're actualy among my friends, not just a random person!
Elly plays dead now. It's pretty cute. She also goes to the knife/spoon/fork drawer and demands "gook! gook!" untill she's given a wooden spoon and a pot then goes of to cook imaginary soup. I get to taste her cooking... a lot. So she gets to hear what a great cook she is really often. She's awsome at cooking blocks for someone whos not allowed to play with the stove. Her favorite quote is currently "eat my shorts" from the sympsons.... which has very cleverly been shortened to "eat short!". |
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